Spüne'd

Review of the Year: Music

2009-12-21T19:46:00.017Z

I am planning a series of reviews of this year's media. Cos I'm dull. And a geek. And dull geeks like to make lists.

Here are the prestigious categories.

~ Live Act of the Year ~

Say what you like about her music (surprisingly bland for someone so insane) but the Lady of Gaga DOES put on a good show. If perhaps... for all the wrong reasons.

Yes, Lady Gaga, the world's most popular drag act is the live show of the year. I saw her perform a terrifying set of ditties at the Glastonbury festival. I'd say I was dragged there by my friend's significant other (but I secretly wanted to go). And it was something. Truly a sight (and a fright) to behold. I've lost track of the number of costume changes, or the number of times she stuck the microphone up her gaga (which, I hope she realised, the Ting Tings had to use next!). Bizarre but I'd pay to see it again.

~ Falsetto of the Year ~

As a fan of Prince (who has now taken over his father's title and is the new King of Pop), I'm a sucker for a good falsetto. However, in a year when the nation's dogs were howling to the likes of La Roux (who, if I met, I'd like to test if she really is bullet proof) and Mika (who is apparently not what I think he is... apparently he is golden) and am going for a less obvious choice. The Temper Trap's hypnotic and addictive debut album is quite honestly lush, and I recommend everyone BUY IT. (Cos buying and paying for music is good).

~ Pelvis of the Year ~

Now this was hard. Real hard. Cos I do actually like Beyonce. It's a not so embarrassing secret now that her recent album is actually pretty darn good... but still I try not to say it in public places. However, I just can't say no to Ed and the Fires. They snuck me into their own after party (with thanks to Chris!) And just fucking look at that pelvis! It has a mind of it's own! Tis super lush pelvis work there, rivaling Knowles herself. Well done Friendly Fires.

~ Worst Lyrics of the Year ~

A tough one. I'd say the worst single lyric is probably contained within the fearsome wilderness which is the Calvin Harris song "Worst Day". It's just god awful...

But I wanted to post the Black-Eyed Peas song cos despite some truely uninspired lyrics, the music video is pretty friggen epic. Check it out above. The lyrics aren't just BAD, there's so few of them. Instead of coming up with a SECOND verse, they just play it again with a stupid effect on it. What's laughable about all of the Peas' tunes, is that they have tp play nice and share song time equally, with each one of the peas given a verse each. Which makes all of their songs incredibly formulaic. One of them was in the recent Street Fighter movie, if you're interested. So it's bad... it's really bad. Also isn't Fergie a bit like that old hag off Britain's Got Talent? Great voice despite looking like a 5 dollar whore... (I'm being a bit nasty... but then the Worst Lyric Award should be).

But to view the REAL winner/loser here is a link to the Scot's "effort" (if it can be called one)... Calvin Harris - "Worst Day"

~ Next Year's Winner? ~

Sub-Universe... no doubt. With future hits like Computer Games and Robots and hope I'm around to say "I liked them before it was cool." Though something tells me it'll never be cool to like them.

Sub-Universe on My Space

~ Here Today... ~

Need I say more?

~ Album of the Year ~

Alright so this a serious 'award'. I call them 'awards'... but it's not like they're winning anything. I could send them something in the post... like one of my thumbs or something. That won't creep them out.

The previous mentioned The Temper Trap's album is very, very good. As is Lily Allen's and Florence and the Machine's. Most disappointing album's got to be Empire of the Sun's Walking on a Dream... another possible contender for Worst Lyrics. Their first single was awesome but I find the album a real let down. Just ugly music for the most part.

Anyway, THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR FOR HAMISH STEELE IS....................

Jamie T and his second 'studio' album (recorded in his front room) Kings & Queens.

Each track is a fantastic and makes me buzz. Some make me wanna punch someone (in the best possible way), some make me want to declare my love for the human race. And every song is shouted at me by some dirty Londoner kid. But it's mint!

I never listen to one track cos I know I'll want to listen to the next straight after. So quite regularly I'll just play the whole album several times through. I put it on when I tidy my room, cos it gives me so much energy.

So well done Mr. T. Not THAT Mr. T... though... maybe one day he'll win Album of the Year. One can only hope.

Games People Play

2009-12-15T20:55:00.006Z

So here is my final body of work for my Games People Play unit at College.

Super Mario Bros

The Legend of Zelda

Metroid

Donkey Kong

As always the full size version are available on my deviantART account.

This unit of work was an exploration into games and entertainment. Now while this work LOOKS (and for all intend and purposes IS) fan art, the work is actually very personal.

It would be very easy for me to make a project about far off meadows and smiling children with hulahoops when studying the games I played as a child but that wasn't ME. That's not MY childhood of games.

Mine was indoors, in my jim-jams with italian plumbers, blue hedgehogs and magical elves. And this is what I saw... not the basic pixels of yesteryear but bright, vivid worlds of mushrooms and space pirates.

The Donkey Kong poster was the first piece I painted for the project, more a test of things to come. I designed my Mario here, making him fatter, shorter, more Italian then he appears in the games. I purposefully made Donkey Kong himself like almost tired and bored of chucking barrels ALL DAY.

The other three paintings were from my various other games I had as a child. One aspect I concentrated on was lighting, a key element which was missing from these old games. These three paintings were on wood with acrylic paints. They were A4 in size.

$2000 is MINE!

2009-12-15T00:14:00.006Z

ONLY if you vote for 5 on my T-Shirt design on Threadless!

Here is the link... remember to register...

VOTE 5 HERE PLEASE!

And here is the design...

Full Size

Birdo: "Thank you, Doctor!"

This is a t-shirt for those who remember Birdo as the sexually ambiguous 8-bit dino-whore, and not just Yoshi's doubles partner.

The basic image is that of Birdo after having her willy snipped off by Dr. Mario.

New Photos

2009-11-19T21:06:00.003Z

First Impressions?

2009-11-19T17:31:00.007Z

I started, but have yet to finish, filming a spoof the UKTop40 chart show, featuring me dressed as different singers in the chart.

I guess a 'preview' of it can be viewed here... in a blog from August about Glastonbury... My 'La Roux' impression can be seen at the end.

Anyway.. seeing as the likelihood of me ever finishing this is... unlikely... I've decided that I will just post some of the promo shots I did.

La Roux...

Calvin Harris...

And my boyfriend Justin Ridley... we could be brothers! Though that's a rather nasty thought.

Flawless... absolutely flawless.

Hello... Mister Steele?

2009-11-18T18:11:00.006Z

Now if I told you that the live model we use in college is, in his spare time, a Agent Smith (from teh Matrixxx!!) lookalike, I doubt you'd believe me...

This is genuinely him. Naked Dave (is what we call him) is a legend and he showed us these shots he did online and they are incredible. We didn't notice he looked so much like Hugo Weaving until he combed his hair back and did THE FACE. It's amazing. What more proof?

It's NEKID DAVE!!!

A (Belated) Halloween Message!

2009-11-12T13:42:00.003Z

http://spune.deviantart.com/art/Happy-Halloween-143272172

What a FOX!

2009-11-09T17:54:00.003Z

Did I mention me and Megan have a son?

Hamish Steele: The New Romantic

2009-11-03T21:46:00.005Z

Before my friend Ronnie Alborne could take these awesome shots, we had to make sure the photography studio and camera were taking good shots.

So I presented... Hamish Steele - the Poser!

POSING! Pose with a rose in my mouth...

POSING! Posing on the floor!

POSING! Posing with a rose in my mouth again...

fuck DAT shit

2009-11-02T00:36:00.004Z

50-cent has just announced his new board game, hitting shops in time for Crimbo.

LARGER VERSIONS

Newgrounds:

http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/spune/hip-hop-eration

deviantART:

http://Spune.deviantart.com/art/HIP-HOP-eration-142154820

WHERE'S THE FUNERAL?

2009-10-27T23:13:00.008Z

I have recently become an addict of wedding reality shows. It must be a sign that I'm thinking about my own special day. I'm thinking a mixture of themes of stuff I like... so basically we'd get married in the TARDIS set, our ride would be Speed Racer's Mach 5, we'd dress like Thompson and Thomson from Tintin and the wedding music would be the Godzilla theme. VERY romantic.

The premise of Four Weddings (Living) involves forcing someone to invite three bitching vagabonds (one of them invariably a male hairdresser with an earring and a lisp) to what should be the best day of their lives.

In a more simple sense, it is Come Dine With Me (Channel Four) but they replace disgusting food with disgusting weddings (which often include disgusting food).

Now I don't actually find this show enjoyable at all... it's just cruel. (I WATCH it because I'm scared to watch Jeremy Kyle... I don't know how me manages to get ahold of so many men's DNA samples... and I don't WANT to know.)

The weddings have already been payed for, planned and set. So when people come to judge it... it's a bit unfair to pit a £200 civil partnership against a £80,000 wag party. And of course, it's the latter which wins the prize of a luxury honeymoon.

Also, who wants snappy bitches sitting in the back of your wedding, drinking your drinks, eating your food, flirting with your relatives?

Don't Tell the Bride (BBC Three) is a LOT funnier. Instead of just mean snaps at the bride from twats this actually plays on the great reality TV staple of either gender doing something they don't normally.

Here it is the (shock horror) GROOM who organises the WHOLE wedding. And that is actually a LOT funnier than a) it sounds and b) the makers probably thought it would be.

It's all in the editing... for example picture the scene.

The bride is at her parent's house, forbidden from seeing her husband-to-be.

Bride: "I trust him. I do. I really do. I just hope he doesn't do anything in burgundy."

CUT TO: The Groom looking for the wedding dress in a budget wedding outlet.

Groom: "White is too traditional... it's boring. How about a burgundy dress?"

It's really excruciating, edge of the seat stuff and highly addictive. It's like crack. And long may it continue... because it's this show that I'm relying on to pay for my Tintin/Doctor Who/Godzilla/Speed Racer themed wedding to Alan Rickman.

The Benefits Of Living In An Orchard

2009-10-26T22:17:00.002Z

We found a bum apple. It's hilarious.

Who Am I Backing?

2009-10-23T15:31:00.009+01:00

ITV keeps asking me who I'm backing like some kind of political interrogation. Well politically I support the BNP because I want to have hot, gay sex with that fitty Nick Griffin.

The the X-Factor-verse though (which is actually THE universe according to Simon Cowell) I am backing Danyl and Stacey... you know... for the lols.

I just think they both proved themselves well last week in that blowing raspberries challenge.

PPPRPPRRRRRRRRFFFF!!!!!

OH! MATRON!

However... when it came to their 'Vote For Me' faces... I was frankly disappointed with Danyl's impression of a Goomba from the Mario movie.

Not a notch on Stacey's shoop-da-whoop!

Vampires Suck

2009-10-15T23:01:00.004+01:00

They really do. And not just blood. They suck ass. Royally.

There are two many vampire films and TV shows being made. And I don't care if each one is meant to be 'different' or 'put an original spin on the vampire genre'. That in turn makes them all the same.

I also don't care if they're supposedly 'good'. I really, really enjoyed Let the Right One In but the fact that it's American remake Let Me In is pretty much only coming about because of this craze for the undead baffles me. Why would you want to make a film which is jumping on a craze? It'll date really, really badly.

I'm not going to watch another vampire related show or film unless it's set in romania and features a vampire with a thick accent and a hero with BIG sideburns.

Or if it features any of the following material...

Just... they're literally done to death aren't they? There's nothing sexy about a corpse. How about a vampire film NOT about falling in love? Or a vampire film which brings back the TRUE horror of Nosferatu?

I went to the cinema recently to see a zombie film (I know... I'm a bit of a hypocrite... but at least zombie films in general still seem to be showing a sense of humour unlike the melodramatic vampires - and NO that doesn't mean I want to see a vampire comedy film...) and in a preview of autumn movies it featured a bunch of girls saying what they wanted in films.

"Vampires!"

I liked it when it was pale loners that liked films about vampires. Not blonde girls (who are hot!) The whole world has turned upside down!

I was thinking...

2009-10-15T22:54:00.004+01:00

Isn't it weird how it's the law to wear clothes?

I feel uniquely privileged to be one of the few people to have had the best carbonara in the world. It's served at 'The Sherlock Holmes' in The Haag, Holland.

So if you're ever in the area...

X-Factor... lol

2009-10-11T16:27:00.008+01:00

'Citing isn't it? All this X-Factor lark! ITV must be loving every second!

So anyway... opinions so far... well...

Well it goes without saying I find this twosome irksome. They look like vampires... and one of them is even called EDWARD! I thought Eoughanough Quiggles from last year was repellant. These two make me remember him with fondness. D'you think Same Difference are watching at home, fretting that 'Jeward' will be pinching their Butlin's career? I mean... it's not like they can hire two slightly creepily insestual reality show failures? Good thing about Jedward is that Butlin's will only need to hire one of them. All they need to do is prop up a mirror. It's just like when one of the Veronicas are ill.

Now by now you've probably realised I'm not much of a patron of strip clubs. So I was perplexed as to why these loverly ladies were being hounded for having once worked at such establishments. Why complain about their past when there's so much more to complain about in their present?

Giggle. Giggle. Lol. Stacey Solomon is like if Mariah Carey thought the word "poo" was the funniest thing on the planet. Let's hope she never performs at Glastonbury. She might have a fit if she sees a flag waving in the audience with a picture of a penis on.

"DOWN IN FRONT!" Oh sorry... that's the performer. The reason Jamie Archer has a big afro is because he can have a big afro and he wants to rub it all our faces. Us with a sensible hair. He also has it like that so that you don't notice how WEIRD is face actually looks. Just imagine him bald! His face is strange. And imagine him with a blond wig! He'd look the spit of Billie Piper.

I swear I've seen these two in some twink fetish video? Well, they're better singers then they are actors.

Oh wow! Look! It's Leon Jackson! I mean... Ray Quinn. Sorry! It's ... oh I dunno. Basically he's the swooney loney (that's a joke because his name is Rikki Loney... get it?) who will make a lot of attempts to do swing music very badly and wear hats. Plus he has the mark of the devil on his left eyebrow.

Danyl Johnson is the 'cocky' one which burst into tears when LGBT activist Dannii Minogue said "you remind me of ghey?" To which Simon slapped her right across that plasticine face of hers which she has spent the whole of Sunday morning reconstructing. Anyway, he's a drama teacher so surely he MUST be heterosexual, they don't allow gay people near children. Also with his massive eyes he looks a bit like an unconvincing action figure of himself. (It should be noted that he is actually one of the few ones which have a... X-Factor or whatever.)

And finally the most talented person on last night I think was this contestant in the over 25 category. Apparently he used to be in a failed pop group but that shouldn't stop him, they had someone from S Club 8 in the comp! Keep an eye on this one. He'll go far!

I would say I hope Jedward goes... but then I'd miss Simon Cowell calling them "a musical disaster". To be honest, I hope Dannii goes. She looks like she smells too much of soap. I mean... a bit of soap is nice but not THAT much.

Anyway... Jedward can't leave. It'd probably be the final thing that kills Louis Walsh after the death of his Boyzone friend. Rest in peace Boyzone guy! I was never a fan but it's always sad when people die and they weren't dictators.

Qinc is Qoming

2009-10-11T12:16:00.004+01:00

Qinc is a cartoon that me and Chris Southcombe have been working on for ... oooh about 5 years. It started life as a series of short, nonsense stories we would write to amuse each other in our free periods.

Slowly though, these stories built up a nonsense world of their own whic

h almost made sense, in a completely non-sensical way. And we started creating cha

racters other than Qinc such as his best friend Ween and their mysterious mentor Oxy Vanish. We showed the stories to friends, family and quickly got a small but fairly faithful fan-base.

So now after all this time the first episode of 'Qinc and the Ramblers of the World' is nearly upon us. To curb your anticipation, here are some downloadable desktops (n

ot that any of them are in desktop sizes...)

Chrissy Paige's Page

2009-10-10T01:15:00.001+01:00

Here is a brief history of my most popular character, Chrissy Paige, anime-obsessed fan-girl and professional swooner.

She made her first appearance in one of my school's talent show videos.

I then brought her back for a spoof of You Tube vlogs. Hence it is rather long and dull.

This following video was filmed in Holland and features Madeleine Vaughan and Katie Coleman.

And finally, this video features an up and coming actor called David Tennant.

Chrissy will return. But for now, you can befriend her on Facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chrissy-Paige/278347485205?ref=mf

How to Make a Cardboard Shark...

2009-10-09T21:50:00.001+01:00

If you're at all interested in how to make a cardboard fish maybe if you want to scare some cardboard children then take my easy, step-by-step guide.

First umm... you do this...

Then you kinda... you know...

And like... do this I guess....

And like... so it looks like this...

So yeah... that's my easy guide to making a cardboard shark. It actually was a lot harder then it looks. Here is the final product modeled by Amy Evans. Our final piece was named 'Big Fish, Little Fish, Cardboard Box'

It was pretty cool but our shark got blown out the cardboard sea by this stunning Boxtopus.

Hello! What's this?

2009-10-09T19:16:00.000+01:00

I have decided to make a blog.

It will be used to keep my stalkers aware of all my creative endeavors, comedy and anything interesting I find on the internet.

My name is Hamish. I'm 18 and British. I do stand-up comedy and cartoons. I have brown hair and blue eyes. That is all.